Present and Clear

A couple of days ago Michael Jackson died. Yes, the King of Pop, dead. This is hard for me to hear. I was and still am a huge MJ fan. I did shed a tear! On every radio station and on every news channel is a report or a song or a fan talking about how he changed music... I only hope that there is no craziness surrounding his death. When James Brown died, it took them a month to sort out just where his body would be buried. RIDICULOUS! That is insane. Now there are reports of drug use and pain killers addictions by MJ and I just despise reporters when the do this. The person is dead, at least let them rest in peace. Why does it make sense to plaster their names across the world. This should have been done when they were alive. So now that they/he is dead JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE!

New Truths

I was reading over some of my old journals and I came across a entry that I wrote after attending the "God's Glamorous Girls" Women's convention in 2008 which will be happening again in July 2010)but I wrote about new truths. New Truths are the "truths"that you decide upon and you make them come true. So THEN I set some new truths and did it for a few days. But now, after reading them, I should have kept up with it. I am interested in a lifestyle change not some quick band-aide to cover the scares knowing that the scares are still there. I want to clean the wounds, dress them and prep myself so that I wont receive these wounds again!

So here are some of my New Truths:

I am becoming everything they eared I would or could be! I am healthy, wealthy and wise. God has given me the power to get wealth, the strength the hold on to it and the courage to work hard for it and I will make my life's decisions based upon that. He enables me to bless myself and be a blessing to others.

What New Truths would you like to create?

5 Questions

I read these questions on another blog and i will answer them myself. The way it works is you read my 5 questions and create 5 of your own to post. People answer those and create their own and so on...

Here we go:
1. What compels you to keep a blog?
I wanted a place that I could write, freely... To express myself in ways that I feel too and to make it optional to read. This is my personal story and this allows me to write when I want to and keep track of what I write. Unfortunately I don't have any followers yet, but soon I will.

2. What is your superpower?
The ability to show love and patience to all children. I am a teacher at heart even when I am not paid the "big bucks" to do it. Another super power that I have (yes I have multiple superpowers!) is to show strength! I am strong emotionally and mentally and people tend to rely on me for my strength. Sometimes I enjoy it and other times I don't!

3. You have $100 to spend right now, what would you buy?
Oh, dear... I truly would pamper myself. So I would spend it on a massage, a mani and pedi and maybe a facial. Not sure if $100 would get me all of that but I certainly would try to make it work!

4. What is your favorite day of the week and why?
Friday!!! I love Fridays because it is the start of the weekend. At the start of the weekend you have multiple possibilities. This is of course before you realize that 6 out of the 7 things you could attend on Saturday all start at the same time! So I love Friday's when you are thinking and planning for the weekend to come! When you know you have the time called the "weekend" but you are not sure what to do with that time yet!

5. If you had to be stuck in an elevator with someone who would you choose?
Of course I would choose my Honey... He would understand my fears, and try to comfort me. He would also help me pass the time (a big huge grin!) and possibly not just by talking! But also he would be someone that I would enjoy spending extra, unnecessary, ridiculous time with!

Now if you choose, here are 5 questions for you to answer:

1. What or Who is the tangible source of your strength?
2. What makes you, you?
3. What is a typical blooper for you?
4. What are some setbacks in life that you have dealt with?
5. What area in your home is the most organized?

Here are my answers:

1. What or Who is the tangible source of your strength?
Grandma Betty. I can call her to talk to her about anything. I can show her my vulnerable side and she wouldn't try to take advantage of it.

2. What makes you, you?
My faith! I have very strong faith and I walk in it daily and that's what makes me who I am today!

3. What is a typical blooper for you?
I talk so much that I sometimes forget what I say! My Honey would fall out of his chair if he knew i admitted to this (it's a good thing he doesn't read my blog!)

4. What are some setbacks in life that you have dealt with?
Lots of bad decisions and Loss... Not of people but of things. I don't want to go into details but when you have worked hard for something it is hard to loose it.

5. What area in your home is the most organized?
Organization...what's that? I would say the calendar on the refrigerator. (that is all I could think of...)

Breezin By...

Sigh! I am coming to the realization that this school sh!t isn't fun anymore! No I am not giving up. This is my dream, and this will change my life and the prosperity it has in it! But I am truly challenged in these current sets of classes that I am taking. To say the least, they are kicking my battooty! This upcoming week, I have to write two 700-1050 word papers all due on Sunday 6/21. Not one but two! AHHHHHHH! UHGH! I am thankful that my work load has been lightened so I can focus more on my school work. But I want to be sure that I am NOT just "breezin by". I want to truly understand what I am working on and this one class that is kicking my butt I don't and it is bothering me. Now, I also have to say that I have been getting by, by not completing the reading assignments and doing just the min. on certain occasions just to get me by. I vow now to my self and to God to have a spirit, a personality and a image of EXCELLENCE! Excellence, yes. Excel-lant in all areas and in all ways in my life. I will be thinking about organization regarding my life and my home. This is what God commands. Excellence! and excellence it shall be!

In the PITT with my eyes wide open!

People can do some of the most sneaky vendictive things to you while posing as your friend. And of course it is a woman! I really only have a handful of "Girl Friends" but I would love to have more. I am a caring and loyal person to EVERYONE I meet. Not only if you will be my friend. It is in my nature, that is who I am. But because I am this nice, easy-going, calm, centered spirit, people think that they can walk over top of me. My Grandmother (bless her heart) always says to me "Tomika, what would Jesus do? When they slap you you must turn the other cheek". Yes, this can be found in the bible, and I have grown up my whole life knowing that this can be found in the bible. But I also know that Jesus wasnt a fool and he wasnt a punk! He would have never let people get away with some of the things that I have had to endure because of the question "What would Jesus do?"

So here I am, 2009, 30 years old, and I find myself back in the pitt again! I spell pit with two T's because I want you to understand the attacks that this pitt has me under. (adding one extra T may make you understand it or it may not but to me the extra T symbolizes something other than the normal attacks) Anyhooooo... I get angry when I allow people to treat me this way. I first am angry with them but I truly am angry with myself. I should have never let them get that close enough to hurt me in this way. But I really dislike sneaky, stab-you-in-the-back people. And that was what I was faced with today. Am I surprised?After looking over the situation with my eyes wide open, no! But this is what happens when you look at the glass half full. I am rambling on and on out of anger, so I will put you out of your misery. Tomorrow will be a better day. Blessed and highly favored is what I am! Until next time: Know who your friends are, examine your colleages just as you would if you met them on the street and stay in Love at all times at any cost!

Just thinking!

It is 2:15ish... and I am awake. I enjoyed a day of cleaning house in
which I didnt finnish but anyhoo I took an nap and here I am wide awake
in the middle of the night when I should be resting for my Monday
morning ritual. But what came across my mind is how blessed I have been
and currently am. Being a nurtuer at heart, I have come across many
people that have obtained a tiny piece of my heart and my memory bank. I
can name the children and/or their families which made a profound impact
on my life. I am very thankful to God that these people have allowed me
to touch their hearts and lives the way that I have been called too. I
pray for all of those who have been touched by me and my life, for peeps
who are reading this blog in the middle of the night and for the
families to come that I will be able to enjoy.
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A Different Kind of Teacher

Tomorrow is Family Fun Day for my kids and thier families. I truely enjoy this day and this time of year. As I think about all of the craziness that tomorrow will bring, I am ready for it. I still feel a little queezy from the bug I caught from one of the kids last week but I am still looking forward to this day. I also know that tomorrow will also bring lots of complaints and griping and just sheer unhappiness from some of the other teachers. But here is my thought... Some of these teachers have been teaching less time than I have and some of them more. But the bottom line is that we all know that being at this school, this day comes around the same time of year every year. And to complain and flat out bitch (excuse my lingo) but it is sense-less and it dampers everyone else's day. But alas, you let no one still your joy! So with my smile on, my lunch packed and my joy intact, I will mingle with the parents that I dont get to see very often.

Also things are very different as an assistant teacher. At the school that I am at currently, and let me prefrence by saying I am going into my fourth year at this school and OBVIOUSLY I love the program, the families and some of the teachers BUT this school, I've never seen anything like it- they dont offer many opportunities for paernt envolvement. For instance, there is "the car line"- which is a circle of cars who pull up and various teachers/ admin staff open the car doors, let the children out and the parent drives off into the sunrise. It is also this way for dismissal. Now I am not knocking this layout but as a teacher, I enjoyed when the parents brought their children to the classroom and saw pictures on the wall and we were able to chat and form a relationship. We talked about the family, not just the child in my class and we actually enjoyed one another. Not so much at this school. Again, I love the program, the families and some of the teachers. But it feels very cold. The only time the parents come in is for confrences, when something is wrong or one or two parents will drop off thier children at the playground and maybe chat for a little bit. I just wish I could incorporate the love and the welcoming feeling that I have felt in other schools into this school. And agian, it is different being an assistant teacher. No one advocates for the assistants. THe parents still enjoy you but you are not as hands on as I, as a Teacher am used too.
I also have to remember that this school year was the hardest school year that I have ever been through. So I hope that this isnt contaminating my outlook-which it probably is. So I am looking forward to a NEW school year with a new teacher and by the grace of God I will walk into a classroom with my name on the door with the title Teacher beside it in a private school. Yes I could go back to daycare, yes I could go back to working all year with out a summer break and be back in the position that I want to be ing but that is not what I want for my life. I am trusting God and this procwss because I believe that it is humbling me for when I have the tilte of Teacher again, never to treat my assistants in the disrespectful, degrading way that I have been treated this school year. Thank God that I have forgivness in my heart instead of unforgivness. Peace!

New mercies

Yesterday it rained all day long. I love the fresh smell of rain. It
smells like new beginnings, new growth and like it is washing away old,
unsettled or unstable things. I can relate this to my life completely.
Things are changing for me personally and for us as a couple. There is
the marriage ceremony just around the corner, prayfully the
soon-to-be-born childREN(yes plural) are just around that same corner.
Richie received his certification (hvac-cfc) a few days ago and this
will promote new beginnings for him. I am still trudging through the
muddy waters of obtaining my degree and this will promote new beginnings
for me as well.
God is good. I place my cares and worries right where he has commanded
me to...in His hands. I believe this upcoming year will surely be a
great one. I claim it right now. So stay tuned readers, I know I will,
because there are some spectacular events in the works for me and my
family and I would love to share them with you all... until next time
Pray, stay humbled and love everyone and everything!
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Inspired by others!!!

To inspire creativity and hope and learning is one thing, which is a great thing but to humble yourself enough to be inspired by someone else is truely a admirable attitude to have. Everyone can't say that they have a "humbled" attitude. But me, I am always looking to learn from other people. Simply because I do not claim to know EVERYTHING!
Thank you JB for inspiring me to blog a little more and live a little more. She has taught me that I can have everything that my heart desires if I work hard at it and for it!

Encounters

On any journey when you encounter crazy people it makes you think. But
when you keep encountering thim you begin to wonder. The spiritual side
of me is questioning: What message is God sending me or what lesson is
God trying to teach me? The not-so-spiritual side of me is asking: why
the ____ do I keep having run ins with the crazy peeps? I began to
evaluate my surroundings and just wonder wht the deal is...
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